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Posted on 17th Sep at 11:09 PM, with 2,027 notes
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
Mark Twain (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
Posted on 14th Sep at 11:22 AM, with 560,720 notes

sweetguts:

lifeis4chumps:

no why

a marshmallow is squished beneath the weight of knowledge

Posted on 14th Sep at 11:10 AM, with 90,937 notes

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

image

Posted on 14th Sep at 11:10 AM, with 90,937 notes

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

image

Posted on 14th Sep at 10:55 AM, with 161,412 notes

imthehomoyourmomwarnedyouabout:

motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

Bless your soul

Posted on 13th Sep at 11:06 AM, with 1,484 notes

fartgallery:

"you’re so full of yourself" shit he’s onto us! *dozens of tiny me’s abandon their control desks in my head to crowd in the escape pod and eject into the atmosphere as my empty carcass falls to the ground*

Posted on 13th Sep at 10:57 AM, with 69,530 notes

drparisa:

'what is happiness to you?'

this gif of a toucan going down the stairs

image

Posted on 13th Sep at 10:49 AM, with 117,113 notes

fartgallery:

I SPENT 6 HOURS MAKING THIS BALLOON PIT AND IT DOESNT EVEN WORK

Posted on 13th Sep at 10:49 AM, with 17,285 notes

shalrath:

reblog if youre not a noob (must not be a noob to reblog this)

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